Life is soooooooo not set-up to for starting over.  Sure, it may have been that way in the past, but it surely isn’t that way anymore.  Banks, businesses, everything is set up to have you trapped as long as they possibly can. 
 
I’m at a point in my professional life where I am no longer fulfilled by what I do.  It’s no secret.  My co-workers, supervisors, friends… everyone knows it.  It’s as easy to see when you look at me as the tattoos on my arms and the clothes on my back.  I don’t have the love that I once did.  I’ve spent the past few years trying to figure out a way to get it back, but somehow, I just keep finding myself further and further away from it.
 
The problem is, I can’t seem to create a situation where I can pause my professional life long enough to find another lily pad to leap to.  For one, jobs are so hard to come by these days, you have to consider yourself lucky to have one and hold on to it like fiend wit a crack pipe.  Second, people are in such need of jobs, they can afford to pay lower salaries.  I’ve crossed the 30th-year-on-Earth mark already.  I’m not taking a salary cut again in life. 
 
Even if I was cool with the idea of taking a salary cut or missing a few checks while trying to find a new gig, the people I owe aren’t so willing.  I got a mortgage loan that has jumped up twice in two years, and I don’t even have an ARM on it!  I got a car note that comes directly out of my check, every check.  Can you imagine the words they would have for me before and after they repo my whip???  I’m not even going into the lil’ man that has endless needs and wants.  And there is no conversation to explain to a three-year-old why there’s no money available for Chuck E. Cheese…
 
It’s so hard going to sleep at night, knowing that the next second of life I see will be when I wake up in the morning.  It’s hard rushing to get ready to go somewhere that you don’t want to be, ESPECIALLY when the compensation isn’t even compensatory. 
 
Sometimes, we can expound on a situation without necessarily being able to solve it.  That’s where I find myself now.  Therefore, I will continue to lose myself in the sounds injected into my mind from my mp3 player, the feel of the conveyor belt of the treadmill beneath me, the taste of the sushi I treat myself to, the vision of the street I see from the countless hours I spend on my front porch, and the hope that a solution will soon present itself….