"untitled...?"
By: De’Wayne Simpson
life
it taught me what to notice on women
it taught me what to say and do
with the ones i choose
how to make them curious
how to make them breathe heavier
how to make them send for me
how to make them undress
how to make them think about me once i was gone
life warned me that from time to time
a special one would come along
and she would make me feel things
feelings i didn’t choose on my own
it made me aware of changes that would occur
in my own words and actions
for all that, i am truly grateful
but what it didn’t do
was warn me about you
it never said that one day
i would see a familiar face
one i had seen a million times before
and that all of a sudden
she would take on a whole new meaning to me
all in the blink of an eye
it didn’t warn how strong nor how fast
feelings would stir inside of me
it never told me—nor lead me to believe
that someone could be on my mind
constantly
that i would close my eyes
and see her face even clearer
this is unfamiliar territory
for me at least
but this is where i find myself
for fear of the unknown
i close my eyes
trying to run away from awkwardness
and when i can run no more
i allow my eyes to reopen
and i see you
realizing i’ve gone nowhere
i guess
deep down inside
i never wanted to escape this feeling
i wanted to explore it
it may be quite novel
and somewhat painful
but i’m utterly consumed by it
i challenge myself not to display this feeling
i challenge myself to remain unseen and unheard
both challenges i failed to meet
and now
i face a new challenge:
convincing you to explore this with me
but how?
how do i convince you to willingly entertain
a notion that i can’t explain at all
maybe
i convince you this unknown feeling
is really a golden opportunity
maybe
i can promise you won’t be hurt
not by me, ever
maybe
i can promise i’ll meet your expectations
ones others haven’t been able to meet
maybe
i can promise to fill the void in your life
once and for all
perhaps i can show you
that we’re both headed in the same direction
and our destination
we could reach together
i guess truthfully
all i can do is ask, wait, and hope
